If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
