lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
