Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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