I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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