Buhtt sex?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
