It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
