nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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