don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
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