I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize