Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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