am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Randomize
