The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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