what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
