dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
