oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
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