And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
