Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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