I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Randomize
