I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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