week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize