"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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