Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
