Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Houston, we have a blender
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
