Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize