Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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