WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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