i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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