I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
