Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
