accomplished twins. life is a go
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize