he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
How external is "for external use only"?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
