I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
