I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
