I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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