my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
