Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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