I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
