We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
