your room smells of hookers.
And success
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
