how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
