glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize