The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
