why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
