What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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