Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
