You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Send help, water and tortillas.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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