matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
