My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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