oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
