You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
