If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
