Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
