Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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