Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
