porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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