the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
