i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
