ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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