all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
