well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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